Friday, December 17, 2010

Frame Of Preference and Perspective Taking

I think I've been pushing myself hard since two years ago not only in academic field but also in other fields. Before I decided to change the way I think and behave to others, I always thought we just only need strong passion and determination to succeed, it was turned out that I was dead wrong -__-.

I learned from the past that I also need to put some intelligence and skills in doing things and not just following other people. When I put my heart and brain into something, the chance for it to be successful would be 85% or more. I know I spoiled myself too much in the past, and let other people do the thinking.

Changing the way I think is hard, not only because I have to dive deeply into things but also lose the sense of self. It was so comfortable to be my own self because it is so easy to be one, yet it was difficult because society do not like useless, spoiled brat. I knew it was wrong to be somebody who I was before and I needed changes, a lot of changes. I did not change because of other people, but because I think it is the right thing to do. Besides that, I also learned to engage in perspective taking and listen to people more.

I hate to admit it that I despised when people called me an ignorant brat T__T, it was so hurtful. But do you know why some people are tend to be ignorant than others? It is because their frame of preferences in seeing the world has shaped them to become ones. Frame of preferences are the contexts in human communication such as culture, the way we raised, past experience, geography, gender and etc. that influence the way we see the world. Some of us are lucky, were raised in huge neighborhood whose residents take care of each other, tend to socialize more and have more experience than others who are socially deprived.

It is not our fault when our frame of preference affecting the way we communicate with others, but once we realize it is affecting us and not doing anything about it then I think it is a serious crime. It is also wrong to call a person an ignorant or  categorize them before you know that person deeply he/she may have different frame of preference than you. Other than that, it is good to engage in perspective taking and listen to people more. I knew I'm not really good at this in the past but I learn how to negotiate with people better.

Oh yeah, now that I've dived deeply into things and have bigger frame of preference I feel better about myself.

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