Frame Of Preference and Perspective Taking

I think I've been pushing myself hard since two years ago not only in academic field but also in other fields. Before I decided to change the way I think and behave to others, I always thought we just only need strong passion and determination to succeed, it was turned out that I was dead wrong -__-.

I learned from the past that I also need to put some intelligence and skills in doing things and not just following other people. When I put my heart and brain into something, the chance for it to be successful would be 85% or more. I know I spoiled myself too much in the past, and let other people do the thinking.

Changing the way I think is hard, not only because I have to dive deeply into things but also lose the sense of self. It was so comfortable to be my own self because it is so easy to be one, yet it was difficult because society do not like useless, spoiled brat. I knew it was wrong to be somebody who I was before and I needed changes, a lot of changes. I did not change because of other people, but because I think it is the right thing to do. Besides that, I also learned to engage in perspective taking and listen to people more.

I hate to admit it that I despised when people called me an ignorant brat T__T, it was so hurtful. But do you know why some people are tend to be ignorant than others? It is because their frame of preferences in seeing the world has shaped them to become ones. Frame of preferences are the contexts in human communication such as culture, the way we raised, past experience, geography, gender and etc. that influence the way we see the world. Some of us are lucky, were raised in huge neighborhood whose residents take care of each other, tend to socialize more and have more experience than others who are socially deprived.

It is not our fault when our frame of preference affecting the way we communicate with others, but once we realize it is affecting us and not doing anything about it then I think it is a serious crime. It is also wrong to call a person an ignorant or  categorize them before you know that person deeply he/she may have different frame of preference than you. Other than that, it is good to engage in perspective taking and listen to people more. I knew I'm not really good at this in the past but I learn how to negotiate with people better.

Oh yeah, now that I've dived deeply into things and have bigger frame of preference I feel better about myself.

As Ever Still (Lee Hong-Ki) in You're Beautiful

It wasn't supposed to be love
It was never supposed to be
I fooled myself many times before, but my heart keeps on calling you
Before i tried to run away
I tried to push a step away
But even then you were growing bigger inside me

I must love you this much
I must wait for you this much
No matter how much it hurts, my heart can't leave you
There must be one love
My heart won't change
The love I protected for you, now I can tell you everything

Your warm eye expression
Your warm love
You are growing bigger inside me

You must have loved me
You must have waited for me
No matter how much I made you hurt, your heart can't leave me

There must be one love
My heart won't change
The love I protected for you, now I can tell you everything
I love you

Sometimes love, or tears will cause problems for us
I love you, I love you I just need you next to me

I must still love you
I must be waiting for you
I could fool my mind, but not my heart

There must be one love
My heart won't change
The love I protected for you, now I can tell you everything
I love you

(Ahh... Saranghe)

Not So Random..

If you miss me, why don't you say so? I know description of feeling can be cheapen by words, but there's other way to tell me.

**fighting mode: studying Environmental Microbiology -___-

Fatigue -___-

I hate it when I'm tired I can't do things perfectly.
I'm not the smartest person in RIT, but I'm positive that I'm not stupid.
I'm not the fastest person in doing something, in fact I'm among the slowest.
I'm not the one who knows everything, but I try my best not to ignore any single detail.


After analyzing myself, I think it's possible for me to be successful if I'm smart enough to come out with a plan. I know I'm still lacking confidence and determination.

Lack of confidence: Sometimes, I think I don't deserve to be the best eventhough I know there's a possibility for that. It's like it's hard for me to get out from my comfort zone.

Lack of determination: That's the first thing I said earlier, when I'm tired or nervous (e.g: when answered Gene Regeulation and Micro Viral Genetics questions) it's hard to push myself to do things perfectly. Sometimes, I think I can't push really hard for myself, but I can push myself for other people (the ones I love). I have to admit that I'm not selfish at all, I always think for other people before myself; I think it's stupid of me to do things for them and I didn't get the same things in return. But I can't help it, I feel good when I did something good for others.

**Note: There're people who also help me in the past, I could find myself again and I thank God for that.

For some reason, I feel I need to rationalize myself to overcome these boundaries. I must believe that I can excel in anything I want to do.

Pergilah ke mana sahaja

Antara keagungan cinta ialah kerelaan melepaskan dia pergi

Tapi ada yang lebih agung daripada cinta iaitu Allah

Jikalau benar saya jatuh cinta

Jikalau benar saya jatuh cinta
Saya ingin jadi bintang yang menerangi dirinya di waktu malam pekat

Jikalau benar saya jatuh cinta
Saya ingin jadi kupu-kupu malam yang menemani tidurnya

Jikalau benar saya jatuh cinta
Saya ingin jadi kucing yang menjaga rumahnya

Jikalau benar saya jatuh cinta
Saya tidak sanggup berpisah darinya

Apa Saja Untukmu.. by KRU

Apa saja untukmu
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